US English editor needed

Community General Discussions
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1

For my current project Cosma I need to develope phrases in proper US English, let's say in a range from 1 to 5 (1= acceptable condition, 5 = unbearable):

1. Pain triggered by pressure on skin or muscles

2. Temperature (coldness)

3. Vertical positive acceleration

4. Vertical negative acceleration

5. Pitch, Roll, Yaw

6. Noise

7. Brightness

Here is what I came up:

1. "I feel slight discomfort" --- "I am in pain" --- "I am in a lot of pain" --- "My body is racked with pain" --- "I nearly passout"

2. "It's a bit chilly" --- "It's cold" --- "It's dang cold up here!" --- "It's cold as ice here" --- "I am freezing to death!"

3. "Climbing! --- "I get heaviness in my hands, arms, legs and feet" --- "My eyesight  become limited" --- "I get tunnel vision!" ---"I think I just had a blackout"

4. "Descent!" --- "I am falling!" ---  "My stomach is sick" --- "I get a gritty feeling under the eyelids" --- "Everything looks red!"

5. "Shaky" --- "Pitching (rolling, yawing)" ---"I feel like I am on a rollercoaster!" --- " I feel queasy" --- "I am about to faint..."

6. "Noisy" --- "It's loud in here" --- "Deafining loud!" --- "The sound is ear-splitting" ---"I can't hear myself think"

7. "I see sparkles of light" --- "I see a twinkel" --- "I can not see because of a glare" --- "I am dazzled" ---"My eyes are hurting really bad"

Please let me know if there are problems..:)

2

Yes, five phrases for every

Yes, five phrases for every bullet. 1 =“I feel slight discomfort,” and 5=“This is unbearable,” would be exactly what I mean.

“OHSHTTHISHURTSLIKEAMOTHERFUKER!” No. Cosma is a lady.

3

I made an attempt to contact

a female American astronaut. I am not holding my breath. I located her on facebook and sent a message. As I am not a friend, my message was sent to her “Other” folder. Think of it as a spam folder for facebook. If she never looks, she will never know I attempted to contact her. For the record Dorothy Metcalf-Lindenburger is the only young-ish female astronaut I could find on facebook.

4

Sorry to hear that bird. But

Sorry to hear that bird. But she probably won’t look into the spam folder.

Regarding the female robot astronaut: Any suggestions, improvements? (She has no fb account yet :))

5

Some minor adjustments I might suggest.

1.5 I am near passing out.
3.2 I have heaviness in …
3.3 My eyesight has become limited.
3.4 I have tunnel vision.
4.3 I am sick to my stomach.
4.4 I have a …
7.2 “I see a twinkie”? Oh twinkel :stuck_out_tongue: some Americans spell it twinkle.
 

6

Thanks a lot, birdmun :smiley:

Thanks a lot, birdmun :smiley:

7

1.1 I am uncomfortable.Can’t

1.1 I am uncomfortable.

Can’t think of a time I’ve ever used the phrase “mild discomfort” unless I was with a doctor.

1.2 I am hurting.

Uses a different verb from 1.3. The adjective “a lot” used in 1.3 should infer a greater level of experienced sensation.

Perhaps you can work “agony” into 1.4 or 1.5.

8

Thanks JAX and Ossipee :smiley:

Thanks JAX and Ossipee :smiley: